こつこつ　～little by little～

test: negative
...so relieved.
hope all other tests result in negative!

So sick of everything.

Yes, we were always safe.
But that doesn't mean it's 100%.

You ignored me.
You avoided me.
You broke my heart.

I'm so sick of everything.

You asked me if I'm mad at you.
No, I'm not mad. But I'm upset...very upset.
But you say you want to spend more time together?
Why would you still want to hang out with me?
It was YOU who started all of these complication.

You told me you like me.
You told me that I'm special one.
Yet you slept with other girl...or girls..whatever.

Don't you understand?
Everytime you hurt my feelings, I have to struggle finding my way out...to find happiness.
Everytime I try to leave, you won't let me to.
If you don't want me to leave, why don't you say so?
You know I have feelings for you.
Then how can you do all of these crappy things to me?
You led me on.
Now I just cannot move on, struggling to find the way out.

Yes, I would love to spend more time together.
Not just an hour or so...or just once a week or so.
Of course, I do love spending time with you.
But it's meaningless for me to do this if you are not serious about us.
So you say you are "busy" and our schedules don't match up.
But hey, you had time to sleep with some hot chick.
I am not THAT ignorant, A.
You tell me you wanna spend more time with me, but you NEVER tried.
All you did was just couple phone calls or text message... getting together and spend night together, "cuddling," "making out," and hooking up.
I'm not saying sex is bad.
Yes, it's great way to show affection...ONLY if two people have same feelings toward each other.
I'm not a call-girl. I'm not a slut.
I'm not a girl who randomly sleep around with guys.
I am not looking for FWB. I am looking for a healthy, happy relationship with someone who will love me.
I wanted to make you happy because I really trully did liked you.
Come on, FWB will never work if one person has feelings for the other.
It will never work for US.

But now, finally, I am trying to move on.
Enough is enough.
I'm tired of crying over you.
Please, please, please leave me alone now.
If you are not serious about us, don't approach me.
Don't fb chat me. Don't call me. Don't text me.

I'm so sick of everything.

see a doc.

omg...
now i have to see a doctor!
should be though! but just in case!!!!

so now it's f**king clear!
he has been sleeping around with other girls!

hell no, i've already made up my mind.
i'm not going back!
and i'm not gonna involve with you in anyway WHATSOEVER!

and when i opened my facebook page, i found out that i got an even invitation.
...i'm not going!!!!!!!!!

geez...
now i have to worry about my health!
k, i don't have any symptom...well...maybe.

WTF, I didn't have to worry about all of these shitty stuff.
Now I have to worry about these?
Come on, please... I've already had enough problems!

One more thing,

I'm F#CKING DONE WITH YOU!!!!!